CSI: Miami

Nothing comes closer to actual police work than CSI: Miami, which you’d think would be a good thing. But it’s not; at best, it mimics the pedantic deskwork and meticulous scrutiny loved by “find-the-parser†adventure game fans of times forgotten and, you know, actual police officers. So you like the show, you like forensic criminology, you like David Caruso: Do yourself a favor and watch the show on DVD.

The game sounds all well and good. Developer 369 Interactive gathered the actual cast for the voice acting, even quirky Lab Tech Valera. You get five missions to play through, with varying difficulty levels. You get to make a name for yourself moving from greenhorn rookie to Crime Scene Investigator. But it’s not fun.

6You spend most of the game poking around someone’s skull looking for that clue you missed, even resorting to asking your partner to do some actual work and give you a hint (lowering your score) and still being forced to pixel hunt and try every single item you have, on every body part you can find. That, and asking questions with puns Captain Planet would be ashamed to utter. The game’s dialogue system almost resembles a tree, except you basically just click on any of the questions until they’re all gone. Interrogation at its, um, finest.

System Requirements: Pentium IV 2 GHz, 512 MB RAM, WinXP

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