Ozzy Osbourne wept.
How can you turn a hilarious 90s claymation parody fight show into an addictive computer game? We can only speculate, since the PC version of Celebrity Deathmatch screws up on such a level that it’s sad. Itâ€™s sad because the TV show had all of the potential to become a fun video game. For those whose innocence remains intact, Celebrity Deathmatch pits the famous against one another in heartless, no-rules arena combat which always ends in bloody death. Whether it’s Seinfeld vs Tim Allen or Beavis vs Butthead, it’s all dumb and fun.
I love the show, but itâ€™s hard to find one nice thing to say about this game. The graphics are bad to the point of blurriness. The dialogue is painfully unfunny â€” as evidenced by the fact that I played matches with every single one of the gameâ€™s 16 characters and didnâ€™t laugh once. The jokes are barely even jokes by definition: Busta Rhymes calls female opponents â€œbitchesâ€; Jerry Springer whines; and Ron Jeremy assaults people with a massive banana. The subtle satire from the TV show is completely AWOL.
Worst of all, this is a fighting game in which the fighting is neither exciting nor funny. The controls are a wreck, whether youâ€™re playing using a keyboard or a gamepad â€” and even when you master the combos, they do nothing more than trigger the special attacks. If youâ€™re imagining the total freedom that the showâ€™s combatants enjoy, forget it. The only thing on offer here is a heavy dose of pointless frustration.
System Requirements: Pentium II 233 MHz, 32 MB RAM, Win98
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